A bastard ambition

YOU may term this Affectation, a shallow, petty, bastard Ambition, altogether illiberall and degenerous. But the foolish ambitious fellow is he, who being invited to supper, desireth to sit by the master of the Feast; who brings his sonne from Delphi only that he might cut his haire; who is very desirous to have a Lacqey an Aethiopian; who, if he pay but a pound in silver, affecteth to pay it in money lately coined. And if he sacrifice an ox, his maner is to place the fore-part of his head circled with garlands in the entry of the door, that all men that enter may know that he hath killed an ox. And when he goes in state and pomp with other nights, all other things being delivered to his boy to bear home, he comes cloked into the market place and there walks his stations. And if a little dog or whippet of his die, O he makes him a tomb, and writes upon a little pillar or Pyramis, Surculus Melitensis, a Melitean Plant. And when he doth consecrate an iron ring to Aesculapius, hanging up still new crownes hee shall weare it away. And he him selfe is daily bedawbed with onions. All things which belong to the charge of the Magistrates, whom they call Prytanes, he himselfe is very carefull of: that when they have offered, hee may recount the maner to the people. Therefore crowned, and clothed in white, he comes forth into the Assembly and sayth: We Prytanes, O Athenians, doe performe our holy Ceremonies and rites to the mother of the gods, and have sacrificed. Therefore, expect all happy and prosperous events. These things thus related, he returneth home to his house ; reporting to his wife, that all things have succeeded beyond expectation.

Pretentious show