Thank you for nothing

IMPUDENCE may be defined, A neglect of reputation for dirty Lucre's sake. An impudent man is he, who will not stick to attempt to borrow money of him, whom he hath already deceived; or from whom he fraudulently somewhat detaineth. When he sacrificeth, and hath season'd it with salt, layeth it up and suppeth abroad: and calling his Page or Lacquey, causing him to take up the scraps, in every man's hearing saith you honest man, fall to, I pray you, do not spare. When he buyeth any meat he willeth the Butcher to bethink him self if in ought he were beholding unto him. Then sitting by the scales, if he can he will throw in some bit of fiesh, or (rather then fail) some bone into the scales: the which if he can slily take away againe, he thinkes he hath done an excellent piece of service; if not, then he will steal some scrap from a table, and laughing sneak away. If any strangers which lodge with him, desire to see a Play in the Theater, he bespeaketh a place for them; and under their expence intrudeth himself, his children and their pedant. And if he meet any man which hath bought some small commodities, he beggeth part of them of him. And when he goeth to any neighbour's house, to borrow salt, barly, meal, or any the like: such is his impudence he enforceth them to bring anything, so borrowed, home to his house. Likewise in the Baths, coming to the pans and kettles after he hath filled the bucket, washeth himself; not without the storms and clamors of him that keepeth the Bath; and when he hath done, saith I am bathed; And turning to the Bather or Bath-keeper, saith, Sir, now I thank you for nothing.